Reflections

Well, I was really thinking about what I was going to write in my new post.....do I talk about my father-in-laws fall ( he fell and hit his head because of a tumor and is in the hospital) or do I think of something witty to write, like comparing my life to a circus, or do I ramble like I did in my 1st two posts? After much thought and reflection (hence the title of this post) I decided that I needed a pick-me-up so I am reflecting on my life and I will try to practice what I preach here it goes:


I am thinking about the exact moment I am in and what I have in my life (other than a TON of bills and a LOT of stress)

1. A wonderful husband who loves me for who I am and who understands me even when I don't.
2. Two healthy adorable children who press me beyond my limits several times a day but who I can't wait to come home and kiss every night.
3. We have a house, though it may not be galmerous or all that roomy, or have a dishwasher, or more than one bathroom (OK how do I make this a positive?)....it does have a beautiful big back yard, and a playroom for the kids and it is a house and not a condo or apartment and the small space forces us to spend quaility time together. (There I did it... I ended positively)
4. I have career for once in my life and not just a job, and I am feeling more professionally satisfied.
5. I have more bills than I can pay but I have a great husband and two fab kids (I know I said that already but I need to cancel out the stress of the bills somehow)
6. I have a wonderful best friend who is like a sister to me. We can talk about everything, and we can relate to each others lives.
7. I have a sister who is a wonderful listener and who knows all the most deepest darkest secrets of my childhood and the wonderful childhood memories.
8. I have two parents who I love though they try my patience sometimes, though I am sure it is just payback from when I was a kid.
9. Somewhere out there somebodies life is worse than mine.
10. Things can change in a blink of an eye soI need to reflect upon and cherish a moment at a time.
11. When I am feeling a little overwhelmed I will make a list and focus on the things I have not the things I don't have.....like a bigger house or more money......even people who have those things are just as stressed as me....only over something different.

There I feel a little better.........sometimes life is just hard and as mush as I try not to be stressed I just sneaks up on me.

A Day at the Circus

Do you ever feel like you are the ringmaster of a three ring circus? I do.


Ring 1
Juggling Acts:

• Laundry
• Bills
• Cooking
• Patience (the ball that always gets dropped)
• Spending time with the kids.
• Spending time with DH
• House work (other than cooking, laundry and bills!)

Ring 2
Jumping Through Hoops of Fire (other wise know as work)

Hoop 1 making my staff happy and keeping up morale.
Hoop 2 meeting deadlines and filing reports
Hoop 3 keeping my desk organized and with out random piles.
Hoop 4 staying connected to the children I work with (if I make it through the 1st three hoops!)

Ring 3
Walking the tight rope (also known as taking time for myself)

This is the act that I am still trying to figure out.......that tight rope is so damn thin that I keep falling off at:
_____exercising______eating right_______scrapbooking______destressing__


I find that my life is some what overwhelming, and I wonder what kind of ringmaster I truely am.....somedays I barely escape being eaten by the lion of life! I bet Barnum & Bailey would never hire me!!!! Is there a ringmaster school anywhere out there? Random thought of the day..... Children who want to run away and join the circus turn into adults who live the life. Am I even making any sense?

Well I guess its back to circus for me, hope I've made you at least chuckle a bit....hey wait a minute perhaps I can be a clown instead of a ringmaster.....at least my children would have fun!

Well I think I am getting sick, I am tired and congested. My eyes keep watering. It could be that I stayed up until 2 in the morning the last few nights on a really cool website www.scrapgal.com. I am totally into scrapbooking and my New Years resolution was to take more time to myself to persue my hobby. It seems like my dh is always taking the time to drum and I am always playing with the boys or doing something house related.......life's too short. I need more me time. That's my hope for everyone take time to yourself.....well speaking of taking time to yourself I need to go rest, I was on vacation all last week and I can barely see my desk I can't afford to stay home sick from work tomorrow.

TTFN!
Michelle

My first dabble at dribble.

Now I am truly convinced that everyone in the world is overly stressed. I never in a million years thought that I would start my own blog because quite honestly I never thought that my life was very interesting. Now in today's society delving into someone ele's life is an escapism. That is why reality TV is such a hit. No one thought anyone would tune in to watch someone Else's trials and tribulations but the truth is that we will do anything to avoid dealing with our own lives. I admit I love watching "Little People/Big World" on TLC. Its something about becoming part of someone Else's life for that 30 minutes that intrigues me.....its like the nosy neighbor who knows every ones business.

Well anyway here it goes......I live on the east coast somewhere south of Maine but North of Florida......I have a DH and two DSs I work in the human services field as a director of a program working with children who have been committed to DCF. Most of these poor abused children have some sort of autism.....the autistic spectrum has a many forms as the color spectrum has shades of light!!!! I do a lot of behavioral therapy. I love my job and actually was blessed when I was let go from my last job......that's a story for a whole other blog!!!!!! I used to be a preschool teacher and I loved my work but I did not get along with a lazy co-worker who was more interested in gossiping with other teachers and kissing the directors ass to take care of the children in her classroom....so I made waves and unfortunately they came crashing down on me!

Though like I said it was blessing in disguise. One of the reasons that I worked there was my children were able to attend and practically for free (one of the other reasons I believe I was let go.....my children were taking up spots that were costing the director money) but anyway I had a Master's degree in Psychology with a specialization in children and I was working as a head preschool teacher making $12/hr. I loved the families I worked with and the children I cared for but when I was let go it forced me to close one chapter of my life and open the next. After I was let go I found a position working 2nd shift with an agency that worked with abused/neglected children. This gave me the opportunity to be home with my own two wonderful sons (2 & 5) and still work. I had the best of both worlds and we didn't have to pay for day care. I went to work when my husband came home. I even got to enjoy the whole summer with my son who went to kindergarten this past fall. He was crushed at 1st to no longer be able to attend the day-care where he had friends since he was a baby, but he eventually got over it and attended a part-time preschool in our town at his elementary school. He had the absolute BEST teacher......if she could only follow him to college we'd be set. I attribute the fact that he is reading in kindergarten to her.

To be quite honest my husband and I truly believe Daycare ruined my son. He spent 40-45 hours a week on a schedule in a crowded rowdy classroom. Even though he had three teachers in his room 20 kids is way to much......let me tell you if I did not work at the daycare (my director hated when people called it daycare) I would never put my child there......I am sorry but I pity the poor children who at are dragged out of bed in the morning and then made to follow "the routine" all day long......sure there's lots of play and learning going on but at who's pace......anyway enough on that.

I know childcare is a necessity I know have my boys in a home daycare part-time because I took this position as director and my hours changed. Though I still have part of the mornings with my kids and we get to go to playgroup or the library before I go to work....it's great.

In my free time I love to scrap. I am sort of addicted. My husband and I share a spare room on the second floor of our home as a "hobby" room (the other side of the second floor is a huge playroom for our kids) he has his drum set on one side and I have my scrapbooking station on the other side. Nothing elaborate but it works for me. I also love to make jewerly which is a new hobby that just started at Christmas. I went over my girlfriends house for a photo jewerly party. I was dying for a photo necklace with Sworoski crystals but it was over a hundred dollars so I taught myself how to make jewerly and made it myself for $25.00 with Sworoski crystals included, then I made them as Christmas gifts for my mom and mother in-law.


Well enough of my dribble for now I will add more later. I need to go to bed. DH says he can't sleep with out me there and I have been on the computer FOREVER! I will post more soon though I am still not sure anyone is interested in my dribble ( I like that word ) but I have to admit it is theraputic.

TTFN-
Michelle